


Make You Mine By The Night

by youbecamemyhabit



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depressed Wonho and pink-haired Hyungwon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, There's some swearing as always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-06-29 13:17:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15730179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youbecamemyhabit/pseuds/youbecamemyhabit
Summary: After going through some academic shit, Wonho was about to enter a new depressive episode when Hyungwon, the friend he has a massive crush on but is too scared of being rejected to ever confess, knocks on his door.





	Make You Mine By The Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kathykwon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathykwon/gifts).



> Kat, my babe, who has been supporting my stories with all the excitement in the world: happy birthday, you deserve all the good things in the world, I love you <3
> 
>  
> 
> The title comes from Location, by Khalid.

Gravity had nothing on the sadness that trapped his body in bed all day, especially because it wasn’t like he was fighting against it. Quite the contrary — there was no battle, no war to be lost when only one of the sides was willing to fight, and that one was not him.

Wonho groaned under the comforter as he felt the balminess conquering his room through the cracks of the curtains, chastising himself for not having completely shut it down the night before. His entire body ached from that bad night's sleep; in between his naps, Wonho woke up distressed because of dreams he couldn’t remember, and that pattern seemed impossible to be broken until just a few hours before the dawn.

As he sluggishly turned around to lay on his back in bed, Wonho rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands and sighed heavily, pulling the covers all over his head.

Fuck everything else, there was no force in the world that would be capable of taking him out of that bed until Monday.

People talked all the time about how hard college and adult life was, but part of him just wanted to not have to deal with all of that sometimes. Until a couple of years before, no one could tell that Wonho wasn’t an optimistic guy.

It wasn’t like he planned to fall into depression, anyway.

Regardless of what might look like from people whom do not experience it, Wonho couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, nor the specific reason.

Frustrating, right? How do you combat an invisible nemesis, that has absolutely no compelling reason to exist and yet, seems determined to fuck you up?

At some point, you just don’t.

You learn to live with the enemy, with the weight of the world dangling from your shoulders, leashing your lungs so badly it’s tough to breathe when it feels you don’t belong anymore. What’s left to do is to train yourself to lie to those you love the most because you don’t want them to be too affected by your condition; you practice over and over again to keep going even when you don’t want to.

On his nightstand, Wonho’s phone vibrated so strongly he could feel it shake his bed a bit. Disregarding the desire to chuck that thing into the depths of hell, he preferred to turn around in bed and ignore it.

Not so easy, though.

As soon as Wonho shut his eyes again, another nuisance showed up in the form of his doorbell ringing.

Why couldn’t he have a single day of peace, all by himself?

After the first time, Wonho tried to let the visitor believe he wasn’t home by turning a deaf ear to it, but the person seemed hell-bent in destroying the peace and silence of that morning.

Trudging fast so he could get rid of anyone trying to start shenanigans, Wonho almost slammed the door against the wall when he madly slammed it open.

“WHAT?” He shouted at the person standing there, without bothering to check who it was.

Wonho’s eyes went round as he watched the other man flinch at his actions, which immediately made him crave the sweet release of death for being such a dickhead.

“Hi, hyung…”

God, Wonho’s heart not only did a back flip, but all those professional gymnastics artistic moves which would’ve earned it a gold medal.

Hyungwon took a step backwards out of instinct and Wonho wanted to bang his head against the wall until his brain exploded.

“No, no—” The younger man didn’t wince when Wonho reached out to touch his arm, so he was just a little relieved. “I’m sorry, Hyungwonnie. I—I didn’t…”

“It’s okay.” Hyungwon smiled at him and Wonho finally could breathe again. “Were you still in bed?”

For a moment, Wonho had forgotten how much of a mess he definitely looked like — the last thing he remember wearing to crash in bed the night before was a white tee and gym shorts.

_Oh, death, why don’t you come a little faster?_

“Yeah.” He chuckled out of uneasiness, scratching the back of his neck. “Sorry if—”

“It’s okay. You’re still handsome, even all disheveled.”

His poor gay heart.

The events that led to their encounter, one year earlier, still confused Wonho’s mind and soul way too much for him to take no notice of it. Despite having totally different interests — Hyungwon was an Acting major whilst Wonho majored in Chemistry — the two of them had a lot of friends in common, so that’s why, on a fateful party at Jooheon’s house, Wonho saw for the first time the most beautiful human to ever set foot on the planet Earth.

He wished he was being overdramatic about it.

To be sincere, it was quite a surprise and an achievement that Wonho was actually able to engage in a conversation with the younger man, and they clicked in so fast that it almost made Wonho start to believe in all the astrology bullshit, for certainly the planets were aligned that night to bring them together at that exact time, exact place.

“Jesus, fuck—sorry, I didn’t even ask you to come in.” Rubbing his face once again, Wonho moved out of the way so the younger man could enter his apartment. “Sorry, Hyungwonnie.”

“It’s okay, hyung. I’m the one who came uninvited, anyway.”

The sunlight coming through the open curtains of his small living room made Wonho’s eyes hurt, but he was still able to notice a mini duffel bag on Hyungwon’s hand.

“So…” He cleared his throat while Hyungwon put his bag on the couch. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to stay with you this weekend.”

All Wonho knew how to do was to gawk at the taller man.

_For fuck’s sake, you shithead, say something!_

“I—Why? Not that I don’t… you… but like… out of nowhere?”

Hyungwon’s face completely shifted into a somber mien.

“They guys told me about it. Thought you could use someone to hang out.”

_Oh._

Before he could stop himself, Wonho’s face dropped at the remembrance of what triggered his current breakdown; it was nothing too big, to be honest, but Wonho couldn’t help but to feel the impact of disappointing himself more than anyone else.

Since the beginning of that semester, he had been struggling with Bioinorganic Chemistry, and the short depressive episodes that occurred along the way only worsened this ability to keep up with his classes, but particularly that one.

Based on his past experiences of dealing with his issues and his academic life, Wonho didn’t think he’d truly fail that class; there was always a way out, always a last second miracle that seemed like the universe was rewarding him for still carrying on.

Not that time.

“I’m alright, Hyungwon.” The way his voice faltered didn’t help Wonho’s cause at all.

“No, you’re not.” The man moved closer and Wonho could feel himself starting to tremble. “You think you’re a failure and that feeling miserable is all you have right now.”

_Can he not be able to read me like a goddamn magazine?_

With nothing more to do, the older man sighed, defeated.

“Listen… Thank you, for coming all the way here. But I’m fine. I just need be on my own for a while. Don’t you have to work later?”

“I rescheduled my modeling gig. I don’t want you to be alone right now, hyung. You tend to… overthink too much. No good. It doesn’t need to be me if you really don’t want to.”

Normally, Wonho already had a pretty difficult time denying whatever request Hyungwon had, but that pout on the man’s face made it nearly impossible.

“Fine. Stay.” He bit his lower lip to conceal a smile when he saw Hyungwon beaming at that. “But I’m going back to bed.”

“Why? It’s almost noon, hyung.”

“Says the man that once slept a whole day. Twenty-four goddamn hours, Chae Hyungwon. We thought you were dead.”

The younger man just shrugged at him.

“Aren’t you hungry? We can order something.”

“No.” Wonho was starving, but that argument seemed appropriated for an impulsive reason. “I’m going back to bed. You know the place, so…”

Running a hand through his coal black hair, Wonho walked as fast as possible back to his bedroom, because otherwise there was a real chance his heart could jump the fuck out of his chest.

Sure, one could label what he felt towards Hyungwon as a “crush”, but the thing is that Wonho knew it the younger man didn’t feel the same for him, so why ruin a perfectly built friendship? It’d also save him the heartbreak, that for the moment was only in the realm of very likely possibilities.

That did not stop his heart to thump like crazy whenever the pink-haired man was around; even the slightest things Hyungwon did, like pinching his own cheek when he was immersed in something, made Wonho want to scream of so much frustration for not being able to be the one Hyungwon liked.

Why did he have to go and fall for one of his closest friends? Among his specialties, there was possibly fucking up relationships at one point for a dumb mistake, and it was in his best interest to do everything to avoid that when it came to Hyungwon.

His younger friend, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have gotten the “Please, stop making me wanting you” memo.

“Hmm, comfy.” Hyungwon stated, plopping himself in bed, next to him. “Is it a new mattress?”

Being the ridiculous person he was, Wonho followed his impulse of hiding under his comforter.

“I’m a broke college student.” His voice got out muffled. “Ain’t got money for that.”

Hyungwon didn’t give up, and crawled under the covers with him.

“That’s cuz it’s been a long time since I came around.” The younger propped himself up on one elbow. “I should sleep here more.”

Wonho choked on thin air, like the moron he was.

_Jesus fucking Christ, just shoot me already you pink-haired devil._

“Shut up.” His voice came out more high-pitched than predicted. “I’m trying to sleep.”

His body couldn’t help but to wince a little when Wonho felt fingers running through his hair, glancing up at Hyungwon.

_Fuck, I don’t deserve this._

“Hyungwonnie…”

“Sleep, hyung.” The younger man tilted his head a bit, displaying another alluring smile. “I’m here with you.”

 

* * *

 

A crepuscular view welcomed Wonho back to the land of the reality, and for a moment he forgot he wasn’t alone in the apartment that time.

Hyungwon was there, but not beside him.

_Was that a dream? I’m so deep into this sadness that I imagined him?_

And yet, Wonho fought the urge to pout about that absence when he ran a hand across the empty side of his bed.

As he made his way down the short corridor, Hyungwon’s voice arose in the background, even before he could lay his eyes on him; at least he was real, at least he still had the younger man for the rest of the weekend. If his tone could tell Wonho something, he seemed to be talking to someone.

“A few hours.” Hyungwon spoke on his phone, leaning on the kitchen counter. “No, I don’t think so.”

Would he have to leave for some reason? Wonho sure wasn’t in the mood for anything that wasn’t self-loathing, but yet he didn’t want to lose his company.

“I’m just worried, hyung.”

_Oh, so is a hyung of his…_

“I know, but when you told me about how he reacted yesterday when he got the news about his grades… I don’t want him to downward spiral because of it.”

_Is he talking about… me?_

“You should have seen how—”

Hyungwon froze on spot as soon as he laid eyes on Wonho, observing him from the entrance of the kitchen.

“I gotta go.” Hyungwon turned off his phone without breaking eye contact with the older, who crossed his arms over his chest.

Sometimes, it was like Wonho pressed a button inside his mind that put his entire self in defense mode, so he couldn’t properly explain why he acted the way he did. So many years of dealing with people patronizing him and his disorder made him choose to protect himself and ask later, at the first sign of forced commiseration.

“Is this why you are here?” Wonho inquired. “Did the guys send you? How was it? Did you lose in rock paper scissors so you got forced to be here?”

“Of course not, hyung!” Hyungwon tried to move closer, but Wonho protectively held out a hand to stop him. “I came because I’m worried about you.”

“Why? Do you think I’ll jump out of my fucking window because of how depressed I am?”

“Don’t say that.” Hyungwon said in a wobbly voice. “Don’t ever say that. Please, don’t misunderstand—”

“Go away, Hyungwon.” The illness was getting the best out of him, but he couldn’t stop, so he looked away. “I don’t need you. Or anyone.”

“But I need you.” When his gaze returned to the pink-haired’s face, there was tears rolling down his cheek. Wonho stopped breathing for a second. “I can’t stand to see you treating yourself like this. Not when I lo—”

“THEN GO AWAY!”

Wonho didn’t want to hear anything, he didn’t want to _feel_ anything. As soon as he slammed the door of his bedroom behind him, an ocean of tears poured out of his eyes to what was about to be the worst sobbing episode he had in a while.

Why was he like that? He knew his friend meant well, he knew that people were concerned because they loved him; at that point, though, the possibility of caring seemed so fucking tiring that it was way easier to push people away. One kind of pain was already enough, Wonho didn’t need to feel guilty about how he made people feel whenever he was feeling like shit, whenever he didn’t have enough energy to know that better days were going to come.

His tears drained him of any strength he could still have, making Wonho fall asleep on the floor of his bedroom. When he woke up, a few hours later, an anxious feeling took over his chest.

Pulling his door open a little harsher than he needed to, Wonho carefully strolled down the hallway to confirm the results of his assholery, but found a faint light amidst the dimness of his living room, coming from the screen of a phone.

The other figure in the room noticed his presence quicker than he expected.

“Hey.” Hyungwon muttered from the couch, swiftly looking down again at his phone.

“Hey.” Wonho replied with a throaty voice from all that crying. “Hm… So…”

“Sit down, please.” The younger had his legs pressed against his chest, face only illuminated by the faint moonlight that crossed through the only window of the living room.

Wonho watched attentively as he moved sideways in his brown sofa to give him space to sit, and could only think how damn adorable Hyungwon was.

“I should’ve mentioned it.” Hyungwon began the chat. “We all care about you, Wonho. I was just talking to Shownu hyung about how you are. The guys wanted to come over to cheer you up, but said you must not be in the mood for crowds right now, so I’d make you company. That’s all.”

“I know.” Wonho whimpered, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry for—for yelling. I’m sorry, Hyungwonnie.”

“I know.” Hyungwon could feel when he broke down into tears again, and wrapped an arm around the older’s waist to bring him closer. “I’m not leaving you, hyung.”

A subtle grace could be found in the moment Hyungwon’s fingers shifted to each side of Wonho’s face as the man wiped his tears off of his cheeks, and the warmth that emanated from that slim frame could preserve Wonho’s body for the rest of his life.

But it was with a light snivel that he noticed how damn close their faces were; in his brain, there was a possibility he saw the younger man’s eyes lingering on his lips for a few seconds, but it was too dark and Wonho was too vulnerable for him to be sure of anything whatsoever.

Hyungwon pulled away slowly, moving his hands down to his sides.

“What do you want to eat?” The younger asked in a modulated voice, grinning at him. “Want to rewatch Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency?”

“Yeah. To both.” Wonho chuckled at nothing in particular, trying to admire Hyungwon’s beauty even in the dark.

 

* * *

 

“Do you think fate is real, like in the show? In real life?”

Hyungwon, lying close to him in bed, pressed the space bar of the laptop to pause the episode, and stirred a bit to gaze at Wonho before responding.

“Not really.” The younger pulled a few strands of hair off of Wonho’s forehead. “I think there are multiple fates.”

“What do you mean?”

“Most things in life are beyond our control, but you still can make decisions that can lead to multiple different results. I want to believe at least a little bit in free will.”

It might sound silly, but Hyungwon’s dulcet tones were so incredibly soft that Wonho was already dozing off to dreamland again.

After brief sound hands fumbling over the sheets to set the laptop away from the bed, Hyungwon’s low voice emerged again in the bedroom.

“Turn around.”

Wonho opened one eye at Hyungwon’s sudden command.

“Why?”

“I’m going to cuddle you.” With his pink bangs making a mess out of his fair, that man still look gorgeous as always. And with a persistence in making Wonho’s heart flutter.

“You’re too skinny to be a big spoon, boy.”

“And you’re too small.” He spouted, letting out a snort. “Come on, I’m tired too.”

“Gosh, fine.” Wonho did as he was asked to, masking his desire to squeal in the precise moment Hyungwon’s arms encircled his waist, bringing Wonho’s back closer to his chest.

“Hyung.” His husky voice sent shivers down his spine, but Wonho tried to not let it show.

“Yeah?” He was glad Hyungwon couldn’t see his anxious face.

“You could never be a burden to me, or to any of our friends. But especially to me. I wish I didn’t have to intrude like this for you to allow me to help you. I want to be part of the good and the bad moments of your life. I…”

Somehow it felt right to turn around in Hyungwon’s embrace to stare at him.

“Hyungwon. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.” Even in the darkness, Wonho could sense the man frowning. The older reached out to his nightstand and turned the bed lamp on, observing as Hyungwon shifted to sit down. “Stop saying it’s okay when it’s clearly not. Say that you feel like shit. Say that you feel that you want—”

“To die?” As soon as it came out, Wonho regretted it. Not for him, but for what it did to his friend. “Do you want to hear me saying how much I want to die when I’m like this?”

“I want for you to stop bottling that shit up, hyung. I want you to have someone to lean on. It doesn’t need to be me, if you don’t want it.”

“I do.”

The panic that took over his face after that could be easily read, Wonho was sure. Moving in bed to sit down too, Wonho brought his legs next to his chest.

Of course he couldn’t even dream to look back at Hyungwon, even though he could feel the younger’s burning gaze on him.

“Hyung… I’m sorry.”

_Oh God, he noticed. Fuck. Now he’s going to reject me._

“For… For what?” His eyes remained casted down.

“I wanted to confess with flowers and chocolate and everything you deserve.”

_Wait, what?_

“What?”

The endearing sight of Hyungwon fidgeting his t-shirt waited for Wonho as he craned his neck up to finally face the other man.

“I… I like you.” Hyungwon’s eyes immediately shut down, as if it was going to make the silly awkwardness any better. “I liked you since the day I saw you at Jooheon’s party. I was the one who asked Minhyuk to introduce us. Don’t—Don’t misunderstand, I care about you as a friend and I’d be here too if I didn’t like you that way, but… This is the worst timing ever, holy shit. I’m— I’m just gonna—”

Wonho had to snap himself out of the trance that hearing all those words got him into when he noticed Hyungwon trying to leave the bed.

“Wait, wait.” Wonho bent his body forward to grab the younger’s wrist. “I—” A perfect fucking time for him to turn into a mumbling mess, of course. “You said… you’re not… leaving me.”

“I’m… embarrassed.” Hyungwon muttered, still looking down. “I know you don’t like me that way, so don’t—”

_Goddamnit._

“What? Ple—Don’t go, okay? Just let me…” Wonho inhaled sharply.

A jolt of worry ran through Hyungwon’s body, making him almost jump in Wonho’s direction.

“Oh God, are you okay? I’m so, so sorry, I’m the worst friend ever I shouldn’t have—”

“Hyungwon.”

“Hmm?”

“Why…” He tried to regain his steady breath back. “Why do you like me?”

Sitting beside him, Hyungwon stared at Wonho for a while before giving him the prettiest smile in the world.

“I never thought about a specific reason, but I like a lot of things about you. I like that you’re such a goofball. I like how your touch is always soft, and I like how much you care about everything and everyone. I like that you have this whiny voice you use when you want me to watch something with you, and I like that you wrinkle your nose at random moments, just because. I like that whatever hell you went through, it never made you cruel. I like the way you’re unapologetic about who you are. I like that you’re hot as fuck, too.”

Wonho snorted so loudly that it distracted him for a moment from the fact he could hear his heartbeat loud and clear.

“Idiot.” His voice was quite low, but enough for the younger to hear.

“What?” Hyungwon seemed puzzled.

“I like you too, idiot.” To be able to voice that was absolutely insane. “I like you so damn much.”

How Hyungwon’s eyes widened and he stared at Wonho with mouth agape still managed to be cute. There was no doubt he was really head over heels for him.

“You…”

“Yeah.” Wonho’s heart became sounder as he grasped Hyungwon’s hand. “I don’t even like myself, but I’m very much in love with you.”

In those seconds of silence that ensued, a mix of emotions swamped Hyungwon’s face, and almost certainly Wonho’s too.

“This is still the worst confessing moment in history.” The pink-haired affirmed, chuckling. “Can I… kiss you?”

Making a self-note in his brain to check later if he was really not dreaming, Wonho dismissed the reply and grabbed Hyungwon’s face with both hands, crashing his lips against the ones he yearned so much for so fucking long.

Whilst his body naturally moved closer to Hyungwon’s until there was not a centimeter of separation, Wonho tried to absorb and convey all the emotions from that experience he imagined so many times before. Kissing Hyungwon felt like falling into a cherished habit he had forgotten, somehow; he didn’t know if it was about how their lips seemed to complement each other, or if it was about easy it was to move his body against Hyungwon’s while the younger hands clutched his shirt as he slipped his tongue inside Wonho’s mouth, but there was a familiarity that bloomed in the millimeters they had to cede in order to breathe and, suddenly, the truth came out.

His soul caressed Hyungwon’s soul and Wonho instantly knew: it’s you, every time, it has always been you. This is another rebirth of us.

 

* * *

 

_SUNDAY, 9:16 A.M._

Wonho didn’t remember dreaming that night. At first, when he woke up, he found it weird not to be able to recollect it — since he was a kid, it was one of his quirks to be capable to remember in details everything he saw while sleeping.

However, the second he felt limbs that weren’t his own on top of him, Wonho had a brief moment to feel confused before the tsunami of memories of everything that happened the night before hit his brain all at once.

The fond arm that rested on his chest belonged to the man he fell in love a year ago, and the realization that said man reciprocated his feelings made Wonho squirm while still gazing at Hyungwon with the biggest smile on his face.

“What…” Hyungwon’s long pink bangs covered most part of his eyelids; the rest of his hair wasn’t in a less messy condition, but he remained the most beautiful man on Earth.

“Hyungwon.”

Wonho pushed himself up in bed, but the younger man only shifted a bit to wrap his arms around Wonho’s waist, burying his head on the older man’s stomach.

“Hyungwon.”

“What?” His voice resonated in Wonho’s belly, making the latter laugh.

“I like you.”

He could feel Hyungwon man shifting abruptly under him to sit beside Wonho with the most dazzling smile he had ever seen. God, how he loved those squishy cheeks and everything about him.

“Me too.” Hyungwon leaned forward to bury his face on Wonho’s torso. “Been liking you for a whole year.”

“Gotta say…” Wonho moved swiftly to pull the other man away, bringing Hyungwon to sit on his lap. “When you dyed your hair pink months ago, I took 50 points of damage. You’re a pink-haired devil.”

The younger chuckled, wrapping his arms around Wonho’s neck ready to abuse his neck ever more. But Hyungwon withdrew suddenly, holding Wonho’s face with both hands.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Well…” Wonho sighed, encircling the man’s waist with his arms. “I’m kinda… overwhelmed. I don’t know.”

“Please, lean on me from now on. Don’t lie to me saying you’re okay when you’re not. If you need some space sometimes, I understand. But don’t push me away forever. Because you better be damn aware than now that I have you, I won’t let you slip through my fingers.”

Wonho grinned widely like a goddamn moron.

“You have me now?”

“I do, fool. All of you.”

 

* * *

 

 Why are you still like that?”

From the bathroom’s entrance, Hyungwon squinted at him with his most judging mien possible. The man had changed into a navy floral print shirt and skinny jeans after taking a shower.

“Like what?” Wonho buried half of his face on his pillow as he turned around to gaze at the man.

“In bed. I finished showering, now it’s your turn.”

The childish groan that he let out as a response was not one of his finest moments, but Wonho couldn’t hold it back.

“No energy.” The older tried to use his best pout against Hyungwon. “Can’t do.”

“Hyung…”

Oh no, the ‘hyung’ in B-flat. It meant emotional blackmail was on the way.

“Do you really want to have our first date like this?”

Wonho might’ve had jolted upwards so fast he almost fell off of bed, gaping at the younger man without a proper reaction. It’d take a while until he got used to hear those kind of things coming out of Hyungwon’s mouth.

“Our… Our… Our…”

The little shit had the nerve to laugh.

“Jesus, calm down.” Still giggling, Hyungwon strolled towards the bed. “I know you’re not in the mood to go out, so we’re having our first official date here. A date, smoochy style.”

Wonho squeaked at full volume, falling back on bed clutching his chest. Hyungwon, on the other hand, bursted into laughter.

“No one who saw with this manly face and body of yours would guess you’re such a dork.”

“It’s your fault!” Wonho spouted. “How can you say things… like that… so easily…”

“With my mouth.” The pink-haired poked him in the cheek. “The same one you kissed all night long.”

Great, now he was turning into a goddamn tomato with all that blushing.

“Go away.” Wonho chuckled playfully, hiding his head under his pillow.

“I’m going out to buy us food.” He announced, placing a hand on Wonho’s back. “See you soon, hyung.”

Pressing a light kiss on the older’s back, Hyungwon ran out of the room still having a good laugh from that situation. Wonho’s mind was having a hard time to function normally and stop himself from squirming like an excited child.

  

* * *

 

The water that poured over him didn’t wash away all the weariness and sorrow in his body, but made Wonho feel a little bit more comfortable with how he presented and saw himself. From the moment that Hyungwon showed up at his doorstep the day before, he couldn’t have imagined the beauty of what unfolded in just a twenty-four hours; Wonho still didn’t get over the feeling of wanting to shriek until he passed out whenever the memories of their mutual confession came to his mind.

Two hours had passed and still no sign of Hyungwon’s return appeared, so no one could blame Wonho for starting to get worried. As if the universe had heard his anxious thoughts, the electronic sound of the front door being unlocked made Wonho spring out of bed, nearly falling as he crossed the hallway as quick as he could.

Hyungwon, with lots of plastic bags on his hand, used his leg to close the door behind him.

“Good God.” His eyes went round as he watched Wonho panting a little, tidying himself up as soon as he stopped; the older had changed into simple jeans and a black shirt. “Did you miss me this much?”

What a brat.

“Yah…” Wonho’s voice came out a bit croaky. “What took you so long?”

Without bothering to utter a reply, Hyungwon took his shoes off and ambled towards the kitchen, settling the bags on the counter.

“Food.” A lot of dishes were put on the table by him, quickly moving to the next set of bags. “Flowers.”

This time, Hyungwon turned around to offer him the bouquet of red tulips. How could Wonho ever conceal the huge grin that appeared on his face amidst another blushing session? Impossible.

“And chocolate.” The younger placed a box of full of it beside the dishes, putting all the plastic bags away except for one.

“What… What about…” Jesus, why was so hard to form a sentence. “That bag?”

“Oh.” Hyungwon took a peek at it over his shoulder. “This is for later.” Stretching out a hand for Wonho to grab it, the taller man smiled at him with the most kissable lips on the universe. “Should we begin our date, hyung?”

 

* * *

 

“You look beautiful.”

Hyungwon’s word threw him off his rhythm as Wonho got ready to take in another bite of japchae.

“What?” Wonho snorted under his breath, reaching out for a glass of water.

“I said you look beautiful.” The other man propped his chin in the palm of his right hand, sitting opposite to Wonho at the small table in the kitchen.

Here came them again, the butterflies in his stomach, up to a feral smackdown.

“I don’t.” Wonho chortled out of embarrassment.

“You do.” For someone who loved food so much, Hyungwon didn’t seem to be paying too much attention to it. “You’re like a Greek god with the personality of puppy.”

Wonho chuckled again.

“What kind of… You’re the pretty one. Not only your face, your everything. You’re so confident and friendly that it’s almost annoying how someone so handsome can also be so nice.”

Ah, there was it. The teeny shyness that came with compliments that made Hyungwon hide his face on his hands.

“You act like a cat, sometimes.”

The younger quickly dropped his hands to his lap.

“What does that mean?”

“You are calm and tender… and you have these smooth movements and expressions that make you look like a feline. Then, out of nowhere, you have these adrenaline jolts and you keep bouncing everywhere. And you sleep a lot.”

Hyungwon suddenly extended his arm over the table to grab Wonho’s hand.

“Just listen for a while, okay?” A brief wait for Wonho’s consent was necessary for him to keep going. “When I fell in love with you, I fell in love with all the Wonhos inside of you. Yes, even the ones you don’t like. I fell in love with the Wonho who loves going to the gym, the Wonho who loves ramen and western rom-com movies, the Wonho who wouldn’t hurt a fly, the Wonho who sometimes get sad for no reason, or sometimes because the world can be a tough place. The Wonho whom I want to be a reliable person to, so he can believe me when I say that I love him even when he’s sad, especially when he’s sad, because that’s when he needs it the most. I want him to believe that all I wish is for him to be happy, to make him happy. I know there’s not a magical cure for your depression, but I can carry you when you no longer think you can go on. Because that’s what love means to me, hyung. It means I love you when you’re holding my hand, but I won’t love you less if you try to push me away. I will love you even in my darkest moments, I would love you even if I tried not to. So… do you think you could trust me… to be by your side?”

Everything that Wonho could ever have possibly said or done seemed so insignificant next to all of that.

He still didn’t understand why Hyungwon went through so much to demonstrate what he felt for him, while Wonho could barely think of better words to express himself. The truth is that, like many other things in life, he was bad at that too.

But he was willing to try to get better for Hyungwon, and for him.

With tears already rolling down his face, all Wonho managed to do after that speech was to stare fondly at the pink-haired man in front of him. It’d be a hard task to believe he’d ever be worthy of someone like him.

But how could he ever say no to Hyungwon?

“Y-Yeah.” A whimper came along with his reply, remembering Wonho to wiped the tears off his face.   

A wave of relief swept Hyungwon’s face as Wonho intertwined their fingers.

“Stay here.” The younger man announced, already pulling his hand away and getting off his seat. “And close your eyes.”

“Oh, no.” His mind couldn’t bear surprises, but he complied.

For Wonho, that half-minute Hyungwon was away doing God-knows-what in his apartment could only be described as a torture right after a love declaration.

“I’m here. Don’t open your eyes yet.” Hyungwon’s voice affirmed. “Give me your hand.”

“No, no, no, no.” The older squirmed at any possibility. “Don’t! I can’t—”

“It’s nothing nasty. It’s my last gift to you.”

Trying to calm himself down, Wonho slowly lifted his hand towards the other man — apparently — in front of him.

The first thing he felt was something big being placed on it, but it wasn’t too heavy despite its size. Allowing his fingers to explore it, Wonho recognized the material. Plastic.

“Open your eyes.”

Wonho’s sight was immediately drawn to the object in his hand, finding nothing less than a red nerf gun on it.

There was a similar one in Hyungwon’s hand, too.

“Whoever gets shot the most has to do the dishes.”

Which was not a fair move at all, since Wonho already took the first shot by surprise, just like that.

Watching Hyungwon sprinting down the hallway, the older man took a few seconds to let the warmth spreading through his chest take over his entire body, embracing that just like he was prepared to started doing so, in that journey where he would have the privilege to hold Hyungwon’s hand. If someone were to ask Wonho when was the last time he felt that elated, he wouldn’t know what to answer.

Hyungwon’s laughter across the apartment was a melody he could listen forever.

“COME BACK HERE!” Already on his feet, Wonho snickered as he darted in the younger’s direction. “THIS IS MY HOUSE, YOU CAN’T WIN—”

The second shot hit him as he stood right at the entrance of his bedroom.

“YAH!”

Giggling at his face, Hyungwon hid himself behind the bed, ready to win that game.

Wonho’s first idea was to plop down on the floor and lift the sheets, quickly crawling under the bed with half of his body to strike Hyungwon in the back with the nerf gun.

He knew he was successful when he heard Hyungwon squealing, but the pink-haired man wasted no time in throwing himself on the bed and firing the nerf bullets at him.

Wonho didn’t budge, though; quickly in his first attempt, with a single move, he managed to grab Hyungwon by the waist and pin him down on the floor, holding his hands above his head. The nerf gun that tried to fake murder Wonho was thrown across the room, that now was engulfed by their laughter.

“YAH!” He tried to sound serious when he shouted at the younger man, but it felt impossible to feel angry at that handsome face of his. “How dare you shoot me in our first date!”

Tilting his head a bit, Hyungwon chortled.

“I won, though. And you’re on top of me, so _double_ win.”

God, Wonho was not used to hear those things come out of that man’s mouth. It was a freaking health hazard.

But he didn’t fight back when Hyungwon wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him down into a lazy kiss; the body under Wonho’s and his own knew no hurry as much as the ground beneath them had its coldness forgotten. More naturally than Wonho would ever think, he pressed himself against Hyungwon until he could feel how the younger’s chest rose and fell against the floor. A second later, his arm moved unfalteringly to encircle Hyungwon’s waist and pull his chest up against his own, making the pink-haired gasp in the middle of their kiss.

Hyungwon wasted no time in grabbing his face again and slid his tongue inside Wonho’s mouth, as if he had done that numberless times before.

Unashamedly, Wonho moaned against those plump lips of his, quite aware once they were in those moments, both of them didn’t want to stop; the situation didn’t get any better when Wonho felt the Hyungwon’s fingers sliding under his shirt. There was no way possible for him to hold back another guttural groan caused by that.

Founding a tiny bit of willpower, Wonho pulled away with a sharp inhale while his entire body felt like it was on fire.

“Hyungwonnie…” Slowly, he opened his eyes to stare at the man under him.

“Please.” Hyungwon wrapped his legs around the older’s waist and began to unbutton his floral print shirt. “Pretty please.”

Well, there it goes any vestige of self-control Wonho could ever have to back off.

Though he knew he should do something about it, the older man couldn’t help but to feel entranced by the exposure of Hyungwon’s skin.

“You…” His fingers drew crooked lines across the man’s chest, who breathed heavily at that gentle contact. He wanted to kiss Hyungwon’s entire body. “You are… so… beautiful. Holy shit.”

With eyes shut as a result of pleasure, Hyungwon smiled.

“You have no idea… how many times I imagined this before…”

“Me too.” Wonho encircled his waist with one arm, pushing the pink-haired man up again, face just a couple of centimeters away from his. “Is this a dream?”

“No.” Hyungwon whispered, brushing his lips against Wonho’s. “This is love.”

 

* * *

 

From bed, Wonho barely noticed the emergence of the city lights outside his window as the sun faded away behind the skyscrapers of Seoul. Hyungwon’s naked back was the canvas where his fingers quietly worked as the younger man dozed off. Wonho happily giggled to himself when the younger man snuggled closer to him.

“Are you okay?”

A clutter of pink hair arose sluggishly next to him as Hyungwon placed his chin on Wonho’s bare chest. A spectrum of city lights danced on the younger’s face, and still couldn’t outdo that man’s splendor.

“Yeah. Just a bit sore, and sleepy. You?”

“I…” Wonho sighed, thinking about the right way to phrase his emotions. “I… God, I don’t know. I’m just happy you came here.”

Hyungwon airily raised an eyebrow at him.

“I sure did. Twice.”

Wonho’s entire body quaked as he laughed at the pink-haired’s reply.

“Be serious, brat.”

“Be my boyfriend, then.”

Wonho could feel himself starting to blush once more, and thanked the duskiness of the room that masked most of it. Despite his best efforts to not grin like an idiot and squirm, Wonho knew it was useless to fight against it.

“Stop being so fucking smooth.” Wonho replied under his breath.

“Then answer me.” When he looked up for his eyes to meet Hyungwon’s, the latter’s gaze pierced through his soul. “Do you want to be my boyfriend from now on, hyung?”

What a silly question. It was impossible for Wonho to decline one of his biggest dreams coming true.

“Yes.” The older man frantically nodded. “Fuck, I don’t want tomorrow to come. I could just lay in here with you forever.”

“Don’t worry.” Hyungwon gave him a peck on the cheek. “This is just the beginning of our story. You go your way, I’ll go your way too.”

The world was still a scary and difficult place to be in. Wonho’s problem’s and his disorder, for sure, were still going to be a heavy burden to carry around, but just looking at Hyungwon was like a breath of fresh air that soothed his chest. In that exact moment, there was no doubt that he loved that man lying beside him, regardless of the lack of esteem Wonho had for himself.

As humans, in the end we all just want someone to hold our hands while we try to work on ourselves, and the fact that Hyungwon existed under the same sky as his was his safe haven. When all is said and done, that’s how Wonho simply knew no one else but Hyungwon could ever make sense to his heart: everything about that man made him wish he could be kinder with himself.

“Thank you, Hyungwonnie. For liking me. Even though I’m so troubled…”

“That’s a given.” The other man smiled, shifting to lay completely on top of him with his arms around Wonho’s torso. “I’m so glad I met you. Everything was worthy.”

“Everything?” Wonho asked, caressing Hyungwon’s arm as he felt the younger’s relaxed sigh.

“Always. Only if it’s you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kat, babe, sorry if I couldn't write anything better or add smut, you know I still struggle with it. Hope you liked it, I'll do better next time <3
> 
> Everyone else who read this, thank you!!! Hope you enjoyed this little thing and hope you are somewhere safe, with someone you love. You can find me on twitter on [@chwkdy](https://twitter.com/chwkdy).
> 
> Take care, kids.


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